Who doesn’t want a successful relationship? I know I do, and I have one, but I made a lot of mistakes and false starts before I found my ideal partner. Most of those mistakes were because I bought into widespread myths about what a relationship is or should be.
Let’s take a look at some relationship myths that can go a long way to causing any relationship to crash and burn.
Relationship Myth #1: Love is measured by passion and passion never fades as long as love survives.
Doesn’t that sound profound and lovely and yet, completely wrong. You might think just one time around with this myth would teach us the lesson, but in my case, it did not.
Passion doesn’t fade; it changes. We become more comfortable, more aware of our partner and ourselves in a relationship. Sure the sex might not be as hot, or as frequent as it was those first few days, weeks or months; but now you are in a relationship.
This doesn’t mean that passion won’t be part of a long-term relationship, but when you add work, marriage, kids, school, work, bills and just life, things change. Sometimes you just have to find the time and the energy to get back to where you once belong, which brings me to the next myth.
Relationship Myth #2: You don’t have to work at your relationship.
If you buy into this one, you are in for a long string of very short relationships. Everything in life takes work. Perhaps better said, a relationship needs your attention. You don’t get fireworks, lollipops, and roses without someone making the fireworks, sweetening the lollipops and growing the roses.
You earn the special moments by paying attention to your partner. You get the romantic vacations by working to pay for them. Both of you are on the relationship path; periodically you need to check-in to see if you both are heading in the same direction.
Also, the “work” one does in a relationship is often a good gauge of the health of that relationship. Working too hard or too much just might be a sign that something has gone wrong.
On the other hand, my partner taught me long ago that the “work” we do in our relationship can be as much fun as anything we have together. So, get to work.
Next time, relationship myths about Communication.